Baphomet offered GG job

Baphomet Lord of the Abyss, past patron of Templar's , aka the Sabbatic Goat commented today on rumors that he has been offered the position of Governor General . "I'm gratified by the offer, it's great when your work gets noticed in the big leagues"

When asked about his intention, the goat headed demon stated, " I really could use change of pace, my most recent job was to tempt priests with little boys but I move into the office, get out the old rolodex and quickly found out that the Church is in a healthy cycle of self perpetuating pedophilia and I'm not needed. Quite honestly I've done nothing but play bejeweled for the last 3 years, and the church keeps rolling along doing the same things.

Does that mean he's taking the job? "Unfortunately" Baphomet sighed, "there are some people you just shouldn't make a deal with and while I appreciate the work he's doing destroying the planet, abolishing fair play and justice, I just don't trust the guy" He did however offer Mr. Harper a suggestion. " I can't think of anybody outside the demon community more qualified to work for these guys than Kathy Sha.. oops, I'd best not speak her name, it's bad luck." Baphomet hastily drew a glowing sigil in the air before him and the impromptu scrum ended in a sulfurous flash.

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Stephen Harper's New National Anthem

Looking into O Canada's history I've found that the song has had several vastly different variations before it was finally set as the one we know with the National Anthem act in 1980, so I guess it's not too shocking or offensive that Harper wants to make a change, it's just damn unbelievable that he gives a shit about the issue.

What I would like to know does the line "in all thy sons command" actually offend anyone? I've never heard my most feminist friends say anything about needing a gender neutral anthem, have you? I believe they are more concerned with the loss of funding for women's groups, the lack of pay equity in government jobs and the fear that reproductive rights will reduced.

Either way all Harper is likely to do is change one line, which in the big scheme means next to nothing. So let's ignore Harper's little distraction over nothing and create our own Conservative versions of the anthem, Something you think Harper would really like, here's mine feeble attempt as an example.

O Canada
On stolen native land
True patriot love but not between two men
With glowing heart we see the rise
of big oil subsidies
From far and wide
O Canada, we stand on hypocrisy
God keep our land, mostly Muslim free
O Canada we stand on hypocrisy
O Canada we stand on hypocrisy

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Conservative Christmas Gifts

For those having trouble buying for their favourite family Conservative this year, here are a just a few of our top choices.



Tin foil hats many styles to choose from



Life time supply of Cool aid Yummm!



A variety pack of Sharpies I hear Stockwell fans can't get enough of these bad boys


Peter Mackay has been very popular and newsworthy with Conservatives this year encouraging a great range of themed gifts for young and old

For stocking stuffers there are lots of great little gifts like a

new Rubber hose,



or battery cables.


If you’re buying for someone in the midst of redecorating their basement perhaps a more substantial gift like their very own

Iron maiden


or water board
These items are destined to become the focal point of any Conservative party.



There is even a home Waterboard game, great fun for all the little Cons



Don’t forget clothing! Can a Conservative ever have enough of these?

For those who admire John Baird (I hope they've been sterilized)


perhaps a dog collar



Or even a muzzle It even comes in conservative colours


I forgot a gift for Conservative closet druggies like Jaffer


A subscription to High times, I'm sure they probably send it in a brown rapper so the neigbours and mail carriers think its just raunchy porn.




A conservative foodie would love just love some


Athabasca marinated duck





If you're really loaded you can give someone a Pacific Island. This is the perfect Conservative gift because even after it sinks beneath the waves they’ll never complain about it, they'll even deny it ever happened. "How’s the Island?" , “Oh it’s great, we enjoy it so much, thanks so much for giving it to us”

Considering how much they've been giving it to us, it's only fair.

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U.S. adopts new currency

Great video expaining the new U.S. currency.Recommend this Post