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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"I'm Pissed off"


“I’m Pissed Off”

“So what is it today, Oh Grand Assassin”, chant my faithful disciples.
They carefully avoid the telltale cringes that sometimes manifest when I start to rant. They hide their discomfort well, knowing that one slip will earn them a week of work in the worm composting room.

“This” I say, flourishing the latest flyer for the Cash for Cancer lottery, “It’s evil”

One of the new acolytes, a doe eyed vegan sporting a homemade "stop oppressing the Bees" t-shirt offers “How can it be evil? It’s a charity lottery that supports Cancer treatment and research?”

I nod warmly and smile, while promising myself that Bambi will be getting GM Tofu tonight.
“It’s quite simple, just look at the prizes!” I sputter, frustrated that I can see the idiocy of whole thing but she only sees glossy paper, big numbers and good intentions.

BONUS DRAW
A Private Jet will take you and & of your family/friends to Las Vegas
_4 days and 3 nights in a private villa, Bellagio Hotel
INCLUDES $10,000 in BELLAGIO DOLLARS,
For use in the casino, Restaurant or Spa


An obviously disguised voice from the back of the clustering students pipes up “Are you upset about the Jet?”

“Yes”, I begrudgingly admit, “but it’s the whole concept that has me pissed off. You win the use of a private Jet to fly 8 people to Las Vegas. A city that should not exist because it uses too much water it does not have, too much power trying to make a desert liveable and does nothing but promote conspicuous consumption”

“In the process you add tonnes of CO2 emissions, particulate pollution and likely eat and drink too much. Don’t you see the issue? The very lifestyles of pollution spewing and over consumption that creates much of the western worlds disease is being encouraged by a lottery that wishes to fund the cure. It’s pure lunacy”

“Is there a single fuel efficient car being offered in the draw? A single electric scooter? No they give away gas powered Vespa’s and high end gas guzzlers, and it’s not just this draw, they are all EVIL!” I scream.

“The last big house lottery gave away conventionally built 4 bedroom houses that were 7000 sq feet, is that sane or healthy? Why don’t they give away net zero energy homes? Smart cars? , Zenn cars? Solar power retrofits? Heat pumps? Eco vacations in private train cars?“

Bambi brightened, “Want us to crash their site?”

“No,” I sighed, “add them to the list for later and keep looking for dirt on John Baird, we need to take that Bastard down first”

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