The global finacial crisis, global warming, and assholes in power all depress me but then the Germans come along and declare "that we do not consider Scientology an organization that is compatible with the constitution," and once again I'm happy and care free again, wheeeeee!!!
see full story
Scientologists believe all the wrongs of man are caused by evil spirits(body thetans) remnants from an earlier galactic genocide, that adhere themselves to our bodies and cause us all forms of grief. These thetans were created when the evil Galactic overlord XENU,(Not to be confused with Lucy Lawless) flew all his enemies to a prehistoric earth in space DC-8s, dropped them in volcanoes and nuked them. Sounds like overkill to me, why not open the airlocks of the space planes?, he had already captured them why not just shoot them? Wasn't a hot volcano enough to kill them?
The ghosts/spirits/thetans were then brainwashed to believe in religion and released to plague proto man. I knew that incident with the Nun and a quart of Tequila was not my fault!
Through years of analysis and hefty fees you can be cured (brainwashed) and become as normal and well balanced as Tom Cruise. Apparently part of the treatments include holding onto metal Phalluses hooked up to a machine. By the look of it Travolta really gets off on it.
The Germans however believe the whole thing is a money making scam which considering what L. Ron Hubbard said about religion seems like a quite reasonable assumption.
"If you want to make a lot of money, start your own religion" - L. Ron Hubbard
So while we have made no progress on Global Warming today the Germans have made some small progress on solving Global Stupidity, That makes it a good day!
Hail Xenu!!Recommend this Post
Friday, December 7, 2007
Posted by Kubera Jones, AKA several other guys. at 12:42 PM