Conservative Christmas Gifts

For those having trouble buying for their favourite family Conservative this year, here are a just a few of our top choices.



Tin foil hats many styles to choose from



Life time supply of Cool aid Yummm!



A variety pack of Sharpies I hear Stockwell fans can't get enough of these bad boys


Peter Mackay has been very popular and newsworthy with Conservatives this year encouraging a great range of themed gifts for young and old

For stocking stuffers there are lots of great little gifts like a

new Rubber hose,



or battery cables.


If you’re buying for someone in the midst of redecorating their basement perhaps a more substantial gift like their very own

Iron maiden


or water board
These items are destined to become the focal point of any Conservative party.



There is even a home Waterboard game, great fun for all the little Cons



Don’t forget clothing! Can a Conservative ever have enough of these?

For those who admire John Baird (I hope they've been sterilized)


perhaps a dog collar



Or even a muzzle It even comes in conservative colours


I forgot a gift for Conservative closet druggies like Jaffer


A subscription to High times, I'm sure they probably send it in a brown rapper so the neigbours and mail carriers think its just raunchy porn.




A conservative foodie would love just love some


Athabasca marinated duck





If you're really loaded you can give someone a Pacific Island. This is the perfect Conservative gift because even after it sinks beneath the waves they’ll never complain about it, they'll even deny it ever happened. "How’s the Island?" , “Oh it’s great, we enjoy it so much, thanks so much for giving it to us”

Considering how much they've been giving it to us, it's only fair.

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